be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
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By all means Marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives
and the wife takes.
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Dumas
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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
- Freud
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with
me.
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henny Youngman
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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Sam Kinison
__________________________________________________ _____________________

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
__________________________________________________ ___________________ __

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and
the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
__________________________________________________ ________ _____________

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get
married!
__________________________________________________ _____________________

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
__________________________________________________ _____________________

Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Nash
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My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet
space.
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
- Henny Youngman
__________________________________________________ _____________________

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
__________________________________________________ _____________________

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Milton Berle
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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
- Anonymous
__________________________________________________ _____________________

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield
__________________________________________________ _____________________

" Stop Terrorism, Stay Single."